You may be wondering if you have an addiction? You may be telling yourself things like, "it's not that bad, it can't be an actual addiction" or "other people are worse than me." These are very usual thoughts of denial in addiction.
Any kind of addiction creates a sense of helplessness and often brings feelings of being misunderstood and feeling isolated. Immense feelings of guilt and shame are experienced in addiction which can progress the addiction further, sometimes over an entire lifetime.
If you are feeling that you are powerless over your addiction, that your choice has diminished and that you find it difficult to tolerate your feelings about your addiction which motivates you to continue, you may well be in an addiction cycle.
Contacting a therapist can be hugely difficult because of these overwhelming feelings so I would encourage you to take the first step, do something different to bring change. Do it for yourself and for those you love.
Remember, you are not your addiction.
"It's never too late to be what you might have been" T. S. Elliot